Has social media made this worse?
Have you ever thought about trying something new, but were worried about what people might think? Or you mention something that you are working on with friends and are faced with a ton of scrutiny?
You’re not alone.
We seek validation from others to ensure that what we are doing is worthwhile. No different than when we receive praise from others, it gives us a feeling of satisfaction.
Why do we need validation from others?
We seek approval from others because we are social beings and have the need for social belonging. We also do it to feel loved and create a sense of self-worth. When we have lower self-worth, we reach out to get this validation. However, when we have high self-worth, we don’t seek the approval of others because we believe it’s a good choice for us.
The other factor is that when we have decided to do something, people can be very judgmental or opinionated about what we are doing. But these people’s opinions only come from their experiences or what they would do. Everybody is different and makes different choices throughout their life based on their past experiences.
Has social media made this worse?
Social media has added another layer to all of this. We now get validation from the number of likes we get on selfies or pictures of holidays we take. This gives us a sense of approval that people like us or like what we are doing.
You want to share a selfie that you think is pretty or a nice photo of a social outing with friends, and then you get low likes. It can make us rethink everything about what we just posted.
The number of likes we receive on a photo doesn’t mean we must think differently about ourselves. It doesn’t determine our self-worth. Who cares if something else gets heaps of likes on a photo? It doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with who you are if you don’t.
Social media has ingrained in us that the number of likes or followers we have gives us a certain status. The other problem is that these likes are displayed for everyone to see, not just when you’re at a social gathering.
The effects can be devastating. We can feel isolated and slowly lower our self-esteem, especially when we compare ourselves to our friends’ photos.
How can we change the way we look at social media?
We first must understand that social media doesn’t define who we are or determine how we should see how ourselves.
Easy said than done, right?
If you think that your selfie is pretty, that’s what matters the most. Not how many likes you get. Imagine if 20 people walked past, and all complimented you on how pretty you are. You would feel over the moon. It would be the best feeling ever.
So why doesn’t 20 likes have the same feeling?
It’s not a connection; it’s not 20 people in person giving you a compliment. All it really is, is a notification that somebody double-tapped your photo.
Limiting the amount of time we spend on social media can do us wonders. I spent a lot of time on Instagram and continuously compared myself to others. I would post something I was proud of, but felt I came short with the number of likes I received.
Taking time away from Instagram was hard initially, as I would use it just to fill in time, but now I’m grateful that I did.
I have more headspace to focus on other things as I’m not busy comparing myself to others. I have also noticed that my self-worth has increased. I’m proud of the things I have achieved.
So, I challenge you to understand why you might seek validation from those around you or what you have done to back yourself when trying something new, even if you’ve faced scrutiny.
Let me know in the comment section below.
Keep shining,
Madeline
youdeservetoshine.blog 