I always found the term learning to love yourself a bit strange, as I wasn’t sure why I would or how to do it.
I thought why? Why does it matter if you don’t?
Over the years, I have learnt that loving yourself is important because you learn to value yourself and set healthy boundaries.
You start to develop standards on what you will put up with because you know what you deserve. I found that I had unhealthy boundaries with others when I didn’t love myself. These people treated me however they liked, and when they liked. I was considered an easy target.
When you love yourself, you learn to love all your imperfections. You’ll start to notice your insecurities having less power over you. If someone makes a rude remark about you or you start comparing yourself, the thoughts don’t linger because you know it isn’t really a problem.
You start to become comfortable in your own skin. You learn to become more confident about who you are, and no one can stop you.
Learning to love yourself plays a role in self-esteem and confidence. It’s almost like a recipe for creating the best version you can be.
Now you don’t have to be the best version when you meet someone, because you are forever learning about yourself. You can love those around you while you are learning to love yourself.
Tips on how to love yourself
- Accept yourself: Nobody is perfect, and we all have flaws. However, learning to love yourself really does help reduce the negativity you feel about yourself.
- A positive headspace: How we talk to ourselves really determines how well we love ourselves. We often forget how hard we can be on ourselves and how much we beat ourselves over the tiniest mistakes (I’m still practicing this). We wouldn’t say this mean stuff to someone who answered a question wrong in class, or made a mistake during a performance, so why say it to ourselves?
- Being comfortable in our skin: Everybody is different. We all come in different shapes and sizes. We all have different genetics, and we are all unique in our own way. Learning not to compare ourselves to models, actresses, or even one of our friends is difficult, but it’s not impossible.
We don’t have to look some way to consider ourselves pretty or handsome. We have days when our bodies look different due to hormones or eating too much on Christmas Day. But that doesn’t mean we have to hate our bodies every time we look in the mirror. Every time we look in the mirror and think something awful about ourselves, we slowly dim our light.
Sometimes I’ve looked in the mirror and wanted to tone up. Not because I needed to be accepted or because people will value me more, but to become a healthier version of myself. There is a difference between wanting to feel healthy vs “looking healthy” to get more likes. The reason why we want to better ourselves needs to be a healthy reason. - Enjoy solo time: Enjoy taking the time to understand what you enjoy. Whether that’s picking up a new hobby or taking yourself out on a date. Cherish this time because it can do you wonders.
- Who we have as our support crew: Those who surround us signify how much we value ourselves. If we are surrounded by people who put us down or judge us, how can we expect to love ourselves when others are telling us differently? And not everyone is meant to grow with you. Once we start valuing ourselves and putting in healthy boundaries, our support crew becomes lighter, and this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It’s better to have a few people who support you than to have more people who bring you down.
Learning to love yourself is well worth the journey, because you do deserve all the love you can get!
Keep shining,
Madeline
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