Have you ever been in a room where everyone talks around you but not to you? Or shared an idea, yet everyone has ignored it? You’re left wondering why you’re even there. This feeling of being invisible in social situations can sting.
This feeling can really hurt us. It slowly eats away at our confidence, self-esteem and sense of belonging. We’re wired on connection and a sense of belonging – it’s rooted in our history as social beings.
I’ve recently been in a situation where I felt invisible – like I’m part of the furniture, slowly collecting dust. Perhaps they don’t value what I say, so does that mean they have no reason to talk to me? I start to get jealous of the attention that others are receiving. Was I not worth speaking to, or is what I’m doing no longer valued? The downward spiral would begin.
I also see this at work during meetings where someone is talking and someone jumps in on top. You can see this person slowly fade into the background and look saddened — a common experience of being overlooked at work or talked over in meetings.
We begin to look inwards, perhaps I need to be different or speak up. You spend time going over the situation again and again to figure out why it’s happening.
After a while, you dim your light to suit them. You don’t participate in conversations – you act busy on your phone to avoid feeling uncomfortable. Your phone has become your safety net. Every time you go into these situations, you’re absolutely dreading it. You have this feeling come over you – do you really have to go? They make you suit their plans, as that is the only option. This is a very real part of feeling invisible at social gatherings.
Then it hits you – this has nothing to do with you. It’s all about them and their perception.
But what makes people do this?
Usually, it’s their own problems or ego getting in the way. Making sure their voice is the only voice to be heard. Some people are so focused on themselves that they are unaware of their effect on others.
So that does mean we should dim our light or lose our voice because someone’s louder – hell no!
Be proud of who you are.
If you’re made to feel invisible, you have nothing to prove. You don’t need to start boosting yourself, hoping they will see you differently. You aren’t invisible. You are already worthy.
If people value you, they will never make you feel like this.
Learning to recognize the signs
- Where your boundaries are dismissed
- You’re talked over
- You feel like you’re always talking but never receiving
- How you feel doesn’t matter — all classic signs of feeling invisible in relationships
Practical ways to reframe it
If you’re in a situation where you feel invisible, perhaps we need to look at ourselves. Why do we need these people to see us? Do we look to these people to approve us?
Perhaps we need to refocus our attention on building our self-esteem and confidence? These feelings of being unseen and overlooked can stem from childhood environments, social interactions or low self-esteem. Creating a negative image of ourselves – believing that we don’t belong.
Us introverts can often feel invisible in larger groups. We feel more connected with fewer people – not having to compete for our voice to be heard. This is a common part of feeling invisible as an introvert.
- You don’t need their approval to feel worthy
- Speak up with confidence
- Make sure you surround yourself with those who see you (if you haven’t found these people, they are out there!)
- Affirm your worth
What to do in these situations
If you’re in a situation with family or coworkers that makes you feel invisible, here are some gentle ways to ensure your light continues shining.
- Be calm and polite
- Be present (nod and agree)
- Be proud of who you are
- You don’t owe these people anything
If you’re feeling invisible in life, it’s important to remember: You shine bright just as you are. You are worthy regardless of how others make you feel and I see you.
Keep shining,
Madeline
youdeservetoshine.blog 