Since starting this blog, I’ve written a few how-tos. Whether it’s about building confidence, self-love, or self-esteem, they’ve all added to an already enormous topic. But lately, I’ve realised I’m a little tired of how-to guides. Like many of us, we’re always trying to improve at work, in relationships, or in finding our best version. However, maybe we don’t need to be “fixed” like we think we do. Sometimes, alternatives to how-to guides – like stories, reflections, and real-life experiences—can have more impact.
Why do we feel the need to self-improve?
According to my recent Google search, many of us try to improve to drive, adapt, and achieve our best version. Our need for personal fulfilment, improved relationships, and a sense of purpose can influence this. I don’t believe comparing ourselves to social media helps either! It can create a loop of chasing more without appreciating what’s already there. I think it’s time to look at self-improvement beyond how-to guides.
Naturally, some of us have a growth mindset – the need to grow and achieve more constantly. From my experience, this can lead to more harm than good. I struggle to feel satisfied in a job because I feel like I can do more and learn more when I just need to take a breather. This is where why how-to guides don’t work becomes clearer – because they can keep us in a constant cycle of “what’s next?” instead of “what’s enough?”
This sense of achievement can be very powerful when we’ve grown or succeeded in something. It can give us a sense of purpose and drive to achieve more. It can improve our self-esteem and confidence.
But is there a downside to always feeling this desire?
The need for self-improvement can appear in any area of our lives. Sometimes it’s not a bad thing either – for example, battling an addiction or changing our mindset to be happier or more grateful in times of uncertainty. However, when we go down this pathway of self-improvement, we need to ask ourselves if what we’re trying to “fix” even needs improving. Are we fixing something that doesn’t need to be fixed? This is where alternatives to how-to guides – like storytelling and self-reflection—can be far more powerful.
Embracing Your True Self
I mentioned above how I’ve written a few how-tos regarding self-improvement because that’s what I thought people needed to read and learn. Yes, some areas in our lives may need some work, but self-improvement doesn’t always fix those things. Sometimes, storytelling for personal growth can be just as valuable.
It’s about learning what is already there and embracing it.
Look at us introverts. We constantly compare ourselves to extroverts, with plenty of people telling us we need to be “this” or “better at that.” But who said that being an introvert is a bad thing? It’s just a perception. We come across as quiet-natured, so people think they can walk all over us.
Embracing your true self is understanding what your benefits are. Introverts have plenty! People come to us because they know we will listen and understand. They want to feel heard and have a shoulder to lean on.
I will still write about guides and tools, but they won’t come from the angle of constant self-improvement. Instead, they’ll be from a place of self-affirmation – helping you see the value in yourself right now. I’m here to help you recognise it and start embracing it.
Forget about chasing your “best version” and embrace the real you.
Keep shining,
Madeline
youdeservetoshine.blog 