Feeling like a failure in life? Learn how to reframe setbacks, overcome self-doubt, and bounce back stronger with a resilient mindset.
Have you ever had that sinking feeling where you think you’re falling behind and not achieving what you set out to do?
You’re not alone; we all have these feelings of inadequacy. Not hitting those milestones quickly enough. Grieving over what we thought we would have.
Before We Dive In
In this post, I’ll explain why we may feel like this when we experience failure, and what you can do to beat these feelings.
As we move through life, we set goals or milestones based on our current situations. However, unexpected events can occur, like job loss or not getting into your desired school. We constantly face challenging obstacles, and our plans are thrown out the window. This can lead us to feeling like a failure in life.
Why It’s Okay To Have These Feelings When We Experience Failure?
When we experience failure, we feel grief, stress or anxiety, but these feelings are completely valid. After every obstacle we face, we take these as lessons, becoming more resilient for future unexpected events.
Failure, by definition, is a lack of success in something. However, it’s a normal part of the journey towards success.
A winner is a loser who tried again.
When we fail, we have learnt something in the process. We can apply these learnings when we try again because making mistakes is the best way to learn.
Why Failure is Part of the Success
There’s no set plan on how long it will take until we succeed. Frustrating, I know! Yes, there are guides and other people’s experiences, but that doesn’t mean we will achieve things at the same rate. As many others say, everybody is on a different journey, and comparison is a thief of joy.
People have many different skills, influences, and/or backgrounds that determine when they achieve things.
The steps towards success can be a long journey; making mistakes or failing is part of the journey. Throughout the journey, we create new skills that can help us in many areas, and what better feeling than succeeding if you have fallen before.
Reframe Your Mindset After Failure
Achieving success is not about how quickly you get there, but how you get back up. The way you talked to yourself on the journey and being supportive of yourself, just like you would a family member or a best friend.
From the journey, you can develop a resilient mindset. Learning to be grateful for where you are and finding hope in achieving success.
The one thing we want to help avoid is catastrophic thinking when something does fail. And trust me, I am very good at this from time to time. You start thinking you’ll never get there, or it won’t happen, or you feel hopeless about the future.
The best thing I do is stop, pause, and think to myself How do I know this isn’t going to happen? I accept how I feel and get back up again. If I feel overwhelmed, I break down my goal into micro chunks. This can help me celebrate the small wins and make me feel I’m on the right path.
Big plans can be overwhelming and sow doubt if we’re not reaching these goals. Dealing with self-doubt can be managed.
What To Do When Life Isn’t Going To Plan?
I’m constantly putting in plans when I want to achieve things. I like to challenge myself and be continuously learning and growing. However, sometimes I wonder if I’m putting too much pressure on myself. If I put specific timeframes on plans, it can make me feel like I’m falling behind. I believe it’s good to have plans or goals, but be mindful of when you want to achieve these things. Life can throw many obstacles your way at any time. It’s important that you adjust these goals if you get thrown curveballs. Take a step back and reevaluate if these goals are as important as they used to be, or can they be paused for a little while?
Remember…
Remember, failing is part of the process to success. Keep failing and keep trying again until you get it. Manifest that success because things do come true with a little hard work.
Keep shining,
Madeline
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