Comparing yourself to others is the biggest self-love killer.
You open Instagram and boom, there’s someone achieving something. You start wondering why that hasn’t happened to me, or when that will happen to me? You start spiralling, and before you know it, you’re putting yourself down.
Comparing yourself can sow self-doubt and leave you feeling inadequate.
Everybody’s journey is very different to your own. People have different experiences that influence when they achieve certain things.
Why do we compare ourselves?
Comparing ourselves to others has been around for a long time. We relied on comparing ourselves to learn new skills and attributes for survival.
But are we building our survival skills if we compare ourselves to someone who went on a 5-star holiday? No.
The grass is greener where you water it, so if you’re busy focusing on someone else’s grass, you’ll neglect your own. So why would you look at yours with pride?
Social media is the biggest influencer when it comes to comparing ourselves to others. We only post highlights of the best things happening in our lives. When we compare ourselves to someone else’s highlights, we aren’t getting the whole picture. So why are we comparing our lives to someone else’s highlights?
When we compare ourselves to others, we have two options. Either look at yourself with doubt or use it as inspiration.
Perhaps we see someone achieving something that we also want to achieve. So why don’t we use this as a tool to help us get there? Perhaps these can be mentors to understand how they achieved these things.
The more time we focus on watering our grass, the less we tend to focus on other people, and when they mention their achievements, we’re happy for them.
I recently did a pole performance and was immensely proud of completing it. However, during rehearsals, I compared myself to the other performers. I felt insecure about performing in front of my peers.
Instead of comparing myself, I focused on what I needed to practice, ensuring I performed a good routine for myself, and guess what, I did. I learnt that when we compare ourselves, we compare our whole journey to other people’s snippets.
Being insecure about where we are in our journey can also influence how we compare ourselves. If we’re not satisfied with ourselves, of course, someone sharing their success will make us feel inadequate.
How to improve your self-esteem is something that we all learn and face multiple times throughout our lives. Learning to love and accept yourself is a journey that can be challenging but well worth it.
How can we feel more secure about our journey?
First, we need to understand that people will achieve things at different points in their lives.
Then, break down what you need to do to achieve your goal. By breaking it down and regularly progressing towards your goal, you are making the necessary steps to meet it. There won’t be that feeling of self-doubt because you are making the necessary steps to achieve this goal.
Before you know it, your grass is looking green and fresh. Focusing on yourself will benefit you in the long run rather than comparing yourself to others.
Enjoy the path you are on and continue to make progress. In time, you’ll look back and you’ll be immensely proud of how far you have come.
Keep shining,
Madeline
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